Freeing myself from my “old comfortable blanket”

I wrote this back in 2019, and while I do this less often today, there are times I still find myself pulling out my old comfortable blanket.

Who else has an old comfortable blanket?

It was this post that was the catalyst for this blog.

The image above is so thought-provoking and so freeing. Thank you to Rebranding Middle-Age!

This post is an excellent reminder that we are not here to make others happy or for others to make us happy. We are each responsible for our own happiness. AND we are not here to take on / live up to the expectations of others. We need to live our own life, one that makes us happy.

This spoke to me.

This spoke to my heart and soul and made me realize that even though I keep trying to stop doing this, I keep taking on the weight, the expectations, and the responsibilities of others / for others, whether they ask me to or not.

I keep wrapping myself in my “old comfortable blanket.”

I am constantly “limiting myself” even as I try to grow and release the old that no longer serves me and my higher self.

And let me tell you, when I do this when I allow this to happen, it doesn’t feel very good. I get bitchy, tense, abrupt, angry, edgy, and sad… and I struggle to figure out why.

I realize that a part of it is because I am scared. I’m scared to come out and shine as myself. I’m afraid to be who I am becoming, who I know I can become coz I don’t know who that person will be or what she’ll do.

I don’t know how she’ll interact with her family and friends.

I don’t know who will stick around and who will leave. And people do leave as you are leveling up. It’s all a part of the process.

I don’t know, and the unknown scares me. So I wrap my “old comfortable blanket” around me.

I also realize that when I pull out my “old comfortable blanket,” I end up needing/relying on outside confirmation. Outside “nods of approval,” external conviction(s) to tell me that what I am doing is right, that the direction I am going is the right one, that the lessons I am learning, the words I am writing, the choices I am making are the “right” ones.

I’m constantly looking for outside research that will help me “get over” whatever it is that I feel, whatever it is that I need to “get over.”

Logically and spiritually, I know this confirmation does not, and will not, come from the outside.

It does not come from other people.

It does not come from books, courses, or anything else you can get online, at school, or in the library.

The confirmation, trust, confidence, and sense of self I need and look for only comes from within.

It comes from trusting myself and my body, and believe me; my body tells me when I’m on the wrong path, which, of course, I will often ignore/fight back, which then gets me into an even worse twisted knot than I was, to begin with.

But you know what?

I’m increasingly realizing that my “old comfortable blanket” is not that comfortable anymore.

It’s itchy, it’s constrictive, it’s mothball-ridden, it’s full of holes, it’s worn out in places, it’s faded.

It’s too heavy, too dark, too limiting, too yucky.

Most importantly, I no longer like who I am when I wrap myself in my “old comfortable blanket.”

I prefer the new me.

The one growing wings, the one filled with light, the one that accepts the unknown with joy and curiosity, the one who looks forward to seeing where this path goes, where knowing the next step is enough, and the one who enjoys the journey.

The one who knows that the answers and confirmations being sought lie within.

The one who knows that the people who need to be in my life will show up when they are supposed to.

The one who trusts that the destination will always be there and always be good.

The one who trusts that the Universe (God / Source / Spirit) will always have my back, that it will be to learn something even when I fall/fail.

The one who will then get up and, with that newfound knowledge, continue on the path, even if it means veering off in a slightly different direction.

The one who knows the destination is not the ultimate goal/prize. The journey is. The journey is where you meet your people, your tribe, your mentors, your guides, and where you learn your lessons.

The journey is where you shine, where you keep choosing the light, where you are at peace in the shadows, and where you look at any “failures” as fabulous experiences that help you in your journey rather than as roadblocks, dead ends, or the death of something.

The one who has the confidence and the faith and DOES KNOW what is best for me.

The one who knows that the Universe (God / Source / Spirit) DOES have my back.

The one that is getting stronger every day!

I want to thank my “old comfortable blanket” for being there for me when I needed it.

I would also like to honour my “old comfortable blanket” by wrapping it up in a warm, loving, healing energy and packing it away to be pulled out only when someone else who needs it comes along.

For now, “old comfortable blanket,” it is time to rest, heal, and sleep, for you will be needed again, maybe even by me in the future.

I AM!

Light, love, and blessing to you all!!!

Tami

P.S. If you can relate to the above, reach out. Let’s jump on a call and see how we can work together to move you through needing your old comfortable blanket.